Just a reminder…time is so precious and life literally flies by with a blink of the eye. Don’t settle, don’t sacrifice your happiness for anyone, don’t EVER put anyone else before yourself, be selfish and picky as hell when it comes to giving the gift of yourself and your unconditional love to someone else.
For almost a year now, I have trying to wrap my head around why this person acted the way they did..why I couldn’t understand the way they think or how they believe that what they say and their actions/behaviors are “okay” and “normal.” After being exhausted in so many ways, and feeling like I was 100 years old (I’m 28) and just plain sick of feeling sad and worthless all of the time, I got online and started google searching the behaviors and the things my boyfriend (now ex) would exhibit and it was like a the sun finally came out after almost a year of darkness. It was crazy, exciting, saddening, frustrating, and so many other feelings for me…but I finally didn’t feel one thing that he had made me feel for so long…I no longer felt crazy…and I no longer felt like I was his puppet because I knew his secret, and that was enough. Every behavior described was by the book…He is a narcissistic Sociopath and I was the Empath. I am no doctor, but I do feel like I’d make a great detective…but I told him if he went to one, they would confirm my diagnoses. Scary (and sad) thing is, most people who have these mental/personality disorders can even fool doctors.
It’s so easy to lose yourself in the thought of love…especially when you’re investing your time, your energy, your effort and your heart in trying to please someone who, well to be blunt, doesn’t give a fyouknowwhat about you. Someone who has made you think you’re in love with them, someone who sees you as a convenience they love you when they know that you have something they can benefit from.
Be strong, don’t waste your time, and realize that things WILL NOT CHANGE, the cycle is vicious and you need to hop off that hamster wheel of hell before it gets worse, because IT WILL. Walk away for good, it will absolutely drive them mad that they no longer have power of your kindness or in their minds, your weakness. Psychological abuse takes an extremely long time to recover from, so I suggest you help yourself too.
If you are in relationship where you feel like you have to walk on egg shells around your significant other, your S/O thinks how they treat you or what they say to you is okay, they project everything on you, they pull you around with constant changing of plans, they constantly lie- and often forget what reality is or what they’ve lied about because they don’t know what the truth is, they get confused and often have outbursts one that a six-year-old would have if you dare call them out on a lie or you are telling them something they don’t want to hear (the truth most of the time) they absolutely can’t hear anything negative or take criticism, they only do these things behind closed doors because they have to appear perfect in public or around their “friends,” aka, they are like Jekyll & Hyde, everything is your fault according to them, “you’re the only one that has ever made me act like this”, and the kicker: they project their lack of self-love and their sickness and make YOU out to be the crazy one…do yourself a HUGE favor and Google Narcissistic Sociopath or “NARCOPATHS” and run like hell. You’re feeding a monster if you keep playing their game they call “life.”
Anyway, I feel like I am rambling- but there is MORE to come…I want to connect to people out there who have gone through this, are in recovery, or they think they might be in a relationship with someone like this…reach out to me please 🙂 and remember, YOU ARE ENOUGH!
Saying a narcissistic sociopath is our soul mate is like saying God sent Satan to love us.